Wow… I realized just now how long it’s been since I’ve written a blog.. Same goes for my journal. It’s funny, because there’s been so much going on in the last …What? Month? Month in a half?
Things were crazy there for a while, I and I want to appologize first to my gals in Natural Elements for not being a supportive member of the team and also to my buddies. Life has to come first sometimes, but I’m figuring out that too much focus on one thing can be just as detremental as ignoring it all together. Since I stopped being so active on here, my weightloss has come to a screeching hault (for the most part), I’ve not been exercising as much and my diet is horrible. That’s not all to blame for my lack of logging in, but also to circumstances and a lapse in my own willpower.
My father-in-law finally seems to be getting better. He’s been getting out and getting some fresh air down at the coffee shop they go to, and he’s looking better as well as getting some of his strength back. It’s good to see that, because he was starting to look very bad.
Unfortunately, I’m not going to be able to move to Orlando to start the school I was supposed to enroll in. I’m very disappointed, but I’m not going to dwell on it - because in it’s place another opportunity has come up. A friend of mine, who is an absolute business genious, has decided to start a not-for-profit business offering exercise training to kids after school. So, I’m doing 2 things.. The first is, enrolling into a massage therapy program that will allow me to specialize in children once I have my state license. The 2nd is, getting certified and trained as a personal trainer, and will later specialize in children as well. Of course, the latter involves getting into shape, which will come a lot easier once I get started with things. The same friend who is wanting to start the business also wants to become a personal trainer, as she is not yet certified.. So we’re planning on sort of double teaming 3x a week by having my husband both train us and teach us at the same time. I can’t tell you all how much I’m looking forward to that!
As far as most of my absence, well, a lot of it was prepping for a move and driving back and forth to Orlando to get things set up… But the last week or so has been a total health disaster. I mentioned briefly on the NE forum this week that I was in the ER Saturday morning.. It wasn’t anything serious, but when totaled together, everything has just sort of been overwhelming for me and my body. Things started out as a urinary tract infection, which I ended up on antibiotics for.. But i started having bad kidney pain as well.. Was told it was no big deal, it was part of the uti.. After that i contracted some sort of head cold, which abruptly turned into an upper respiratory infection.. I assume because my body was trying to fight off one infection (The uti), it wasn’t able to minimize the damage by the headcold and ended up spreading.. Well, Saturday, I woke up around 3 am and just couldn’t get back to sleep. My kidney pain was radiating into my back and around to my abdomen/hip flexors area.. Then around 4:30 my heart started racing, I felt like I couldn’t breathe, my body started tingling and felt numb.. I basically felt like I was having a heart attack, or more accurately, I just felt like I was literally dying. It passed a little and I woke Matt up, and it started again. I felt like my heart had stopped, because I couldn’t feel it when I pressed my hand to my chest… Matt said later he felt my pulse and it was strong, but very fast. It passed and started again once or twice more and by 5 I told him I wanted to go to the ER because something wasn’t right. Needless to say, when I got there ALL my symptoms were gone… LOL not when I checked in or anything.. But when the doctor actually got to me. She CT scanned my kidneys.. There’s no infection there, but my bladder wall is very thick and she guesses because it’s loaded with infection. The ‘imminent death’ i was feeling in bed was a series of panic attacks, she said. Knowing what it was doesn’t really help any, becuase I feel them coming on every night when I start to fall asleep. It’s starting to get to the point where I’m afraid to get in bed because I know what I’m in store for. I’ve done a ton of research and I’ve found that it’s actually very common for panic attacks to hit at night when you’re falling asleep. So, I think I’m going to start a natural approach to easing those symptoms at night, it’s almost like an herbal valium, minus all the side effects. It just sorta eases the mind and allows you to relax enough to drift to sleep. Like melatonin, almost. I’m also upping my B-complex because that’s supposed to help as well.
Another bit of possible bad news.. My cousin - who’s more like a sister - has been chronically ill off an on for about a year has been told she may have MS. It’s devestating to think that, but it’s worse because my ex… THE ex, lol.. he was my first and is still one of my best friends, has MS… And I’ve seen what it’s been like for him. He’s to the point now where he can’t really speak, like the words are there but he can’t get them out.. And I can’t picture her like that. Her mom and dad were like parents to me, her mom died of a liver problem going on 2 years ago, and her father of leukemia almost 10 years ago. So, we’re all hoping that MS isn’t the cause. She’s always been high strung, and stress can come in so many symptoms.. Hopefully that’s all this is.
Anyway, enough with all that.. I had just meant this blog to be something of a start to my getting back on track and to just appologize for my disappearance, but I guess my fingers got to goin and that was the end of it! LOL. Sorry for the length for those who read it.. I look forward to getting back to losing with you gals in NE, as well as all mah buddies on here!
Cheers!
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